Why such a violent title you ask? Because that's what I would like to do to certain people when they make certain comments. Sometimes I wish I could just do whatever I felt like at the moment with no consequences. I don't want to confuse you so I will explain: Since we have been having so much "jug talk" of late, I feel the need to vent about people who can't show enough restraint to NOT comment on the size of my jug. Really, can everyone just mind their own Bid-ness? Who are you and why do I care what you think? I don't.
This morning as I was waiting in line to buy mine and Eric's breakfast sodas, I hear a voice from behind me, "WOW! You really must be thirsty!!" I turn around and there is a lady (with a banana clip in her hair I might add--who wears these anymore? can you even still buy them?) that feels like she needs to stick her nose where it doesn't belong. I answer her with a very dry, "yes", and I turn my back to her. I'm pretty sure she felt stupid because of my reaction. As I was getting in my van she came out of the store and kinda glanced at me and tried not to make eye contact. That's right, lady, keep your head down and move along.
Now, if this was an isolated event I wouldn't think twice about it. However, 90% of the time, some dummy will make a comment. Really now, I don't comment to other people about their purchases. Why? Because I could care less what people are buying. I need to come up with a solution so I don't do something I regret when I'm feeling more like "Grumpfruit" and less like my normal, happy, bubbly self. I think that when they put in their 2 cents, I will put in mine right back at them. For example: "Man! A Monster energy drink, a pack of cigarettes, and a King-size Peanut Butter Cups! You must have a death wish. Call a hot-line and get some help, buddy." This might work if we weren't living in a time where people will pull a gun at will and shoot you dead. So, as Plan B I am just going to confuse people. I will need to set my jug down, raise both hands high above my head and wiggle my fingers energetically. Then I will say in a robotic voice, "I must! I have lots of people depending on me!" This will befuddle them and they won't know what to say. I need help with this situation so if you have any more suggestions, I will take them into consideration. Thank you for your cooperation.
Monday, May 19, 2008
You Deserve...A Swift Round-House Kick to the Face!
Posted by The Rich-Ardos at 10:27 AM
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6 comments:
Mindy, if someone says "you sure must be thirsty", you should counter with "nope, my gold fish don't get along so i have to put them in seperate jugs so they don't fight with each other....oh yeah, they also like to travel with me and don't like the scenery so i have to put them in these jugs that really thirsty people use to get sodas".
the end
Min-
There is no solution to your problem. People will ALWAYS get in our business. Especially when we confuse them by wearing painting clothes. All we can do is put a blank look on our face and walk away. If it makes you feel any better, the other day, while Tia and I were on our way to a job we stopped into 7 Eleven to get a beverage and Roy the clerk told me I needed to get my roots done. They were too grown out for his taste. Mind your own business Roy!
When are you gonna tell us what happened to your trampoline?
I was rolling reading this! Seriously, what is wrong with people. I really want to see you do the robot wiggle fingers on someone though, classic. I have looked at people who have said that with a really confused look on my face and said "No, not at all. Why?" That throws them sometimes too. Or just throw a straw wrapper in their soda. That'll teach 'em.
I still wear a banana clip! talk about hurting someone's feelings....
My apologies, Amber. I was all riled up when I made this post and may of said some things that are a little harsh. Ok- not really, banana clips are so 80's, it's time to move on :) Let me introduce you to my friend, the pony tail holder.
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